5 things I have learned about or from marriage thus far

So as our one year anniversary quickly approaches, (it's been a year already...can you believe it?!) I've decided to look back at the past year and share some things I have learned.


1. You will never be able to read your spouse's mind. You are probably thinking, you've only been married a year, so how would you know! What about people that have been married twenty years? Doesn't matter. How do I know this? Because since being married, older married couples are full of advice and kind words that they graciously offer which make you realize that you are not alone, strange or wrong. You may be able to accurately guess what your spouse may be thinking about something in particular, but don't assume you know exactly what they are thinking all the time because all that will do is cause misunderstandings and arguments.


2. However, having arguments is not a bad thing. You simply can't agree on everything and that is healthy. And you won't agree on everything, so don't think that you will.


3. As cliche as it may sound, communication is key. You have to talk to each other about what is going on inside. As I mentioned in number 1, even though we have been married a year, I cannot read your mind so I need you to tell me what is going on in there. Capisce?


4. And on the topic of communication, chances are you and your spouse won't communicate in the same way. One of you may like to talk things out via conversation and the other may want to think everything through before saying a single word to the other. Neither is right, or wrong, but you have to respect the other person so that when communication does occur it can be done effectively.


5. When arguing and communicating in general, choose your words carefully. Don't purposely say things to push each others' buttons. And don't bring up past fights or discretions. This makes everything worse. I should know because I'm terrible at doing this.


There are many other things I have learned, but as of now, I will leave you with these.


Marriage is work. It's as simple as that. Don't be fooled in to thinking that it is going to be all sunshine and rainbows, because I guarantee there will come a time when the thing you want to do the most is punch your spouse in the face. And that's perfectly okay. Just don't actually do it, because that's abuse and I'll have to call the people on you.